


It Should Be Me

by Lia (liaskisses)



Series: Jily Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Cute, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Relationship(s), Romance, Romantic Comedy, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liaskisses/pseuds/Lia
Summary: Lily gasped aloud as the realisation hit her, a knight-bus like force slamming into her as she grasped it.She liked James Potter.She wanted to snog James potter.She wanted to shag James potter.•7th year, jealous lily + Idiot James• side wolfstar & dorlene
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Series: Jily Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184597
Kudos: 73





	1. The first stage of grief is denial

Lily knew she was in a huff. She was mature enough to recognise it, more mature than Potter would ever be anyway. 

She also knew her ~~_jealousy_~~ , no. Her _annoyance_ was unjustified but Lily felt simply murderous when she saw Mary's perfectly manicured hand on his thigh and heard her sweet, honeysuckle-like laugh.

She kept her eyes glued to her parchment, not daring to look over to the couple who were sprawled over the sofa. The death grip she had on her quill guaranteeing that her fingers would definitely be covered with ink when she put it away.

"Oi ginger! you do know your quill isn't gonna grow legs and run away do you? So you don't need to hold it like your life depends on it" Marlene teased, deliberately provoking the redhead further.

Lily scoffed at Marlene, her emerald eyes almost sparking as she threw her best friend the dirtiest of looks. 

"Woah babe! what's gotten your knickers all in a twist?"

Marlene flashed Lily a smirk that could rival Sirius's as she looked over her shoulder, following Lily's stare.

"It couldn't have to do with a certain messy haired head boy... could it?" Marlene asked, her fake ignorance only angering Lily more.

"Oh shut it Marls, you know I don't give a flying fuck about Potter" Lily snapped, looking back down at her parchment but failing again to concentrate.

"Yeah but you do give a fuck about Mary throwing herself at him like she's a rogue bludger"

Marlene smirks while putting her boots on the table and watching Lily's reaction, enjoying seeing her shoulders tensing.

"Mary can throw herself at anyone she likes, why should I care?" Lily said, her fake nonchalance not fooling Marlene one bit.

"Oh, so you wouldn't mind if they started shagging?" Marlene pressed, leaning forward - her eyebrows wiggling.

"Why would I mind? Mary can shag anyone she wants" Lily scoffs, shrugging and trying too hard to fake nonchalance.

"Because you fancy Potter," Marlene said, leaning back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I DO NOT FANCY-"

Lily stopped herself quickly, looking fevently around the room to see if they noticed, however all she saw was Mary yet again flashing James a dazzling smile.

Marlene bit back her own smile, patting Lily's arm sympathetically

"Och pet, it seems like your still in denial" her Irish accent purred.

"McKinnon you have 10 seconds to leave before I hex your ass" Lily threatened, putting a warning hand on her wand to try and show her seriousness.

"I'd like to see you try" Marlene scoffed, rolling her blue eyes.

"Ten"

"Nine... McKinnon I'm serious"

"Black? Your Sirius black? Cor Siri, ginger does **not** suit you!" 

"Eight..." Lily dragged out, picking up her wand

"Lily, I love you dearly but you are about as scary as a pygmy puff"

"Seven" 

"Your actually teaching _me_ right now. Before this I could only count forwards, but now I've learned how to count backwards, the possibilities are endless!"

"Six..." By now Lily had actually picked up her wand, waving it accusingly.

"Five"

"Lily this is ridicu-"

"McKinnon. leave this table right now!"

"Or what? you'll do the bat bogey hex on me? Lily I'm the one who taught you that!"

"I'll tell Dorcas about **the** dream"

"You wouldn't," Marlene said, standing up and getting her oak wand out of her belt.

Lily crossed her arms, looking smugly around and catching Dorcas's eye as she walked down from the girl's dorms.

"Dorky! over here!" Lily called, beckoning the girl over, her curly hair bouncing as she almost skipped over.

Marlene flushed, her not-so-secret crush on the girl becoming more and more obvious each day.

"Hey guys!" she said sweetly, smiling at Lily and stealing a glance of Marlene - trying not to blush.

"Hay is for horses dorky"   
Marlene joked, causing the girl to blush a deep shade of red.

Lily grinned in victory, loving seeing her once confident friend reduced to stammering over the sight of Dorcas.

However, Dorcas just laughed and rolled her eyes, shoving Marlene's shoulder flirtatiously.

"Have I just been summoned so you can tell me horrible jokes or do you have a reason Lily-flower?"Dorcas asked, hearing Marlene snigger at the ironic use of James's favourite nickname for the redhead.

"Oh yes! You see, Marlene here was bored and she was wondering if you wanted to go down to the lake with her, I'd join you but this charms essay is due Monday"

Lily felt the death stare from Marlene burn into her skull. She decided that her friend needed to prove her Gryffindor status and a gentle nudge in the right direction wouldn't hurt.

"Oh thank Godrick! I'm bored out my brains! Come on Marley I think some Slytherins need to be fed to the giant squid"

Dorcas grabbed Marlene's arm, forcing her away towards the portrait hole, grinning a cheshire cat smile.

Lily smiled fondly at her two friends, rooting for them after the two both separately confessed to her about their crushes on one another.

Lily got back to work, Potter almost completely out of her mind as she thought about how the essay actually was due for Monday.

However, her scribbling was interrupted by a hand knocking on the table to grab her attention.

Lily looked up, her green eyes meeting the brown ones of James's immediately. She saw a fond smile on his face and she couldn't help but return it.

"Hey Lillith," James said, plonking himself down in the chair opposite.

"Potter, how many times?! it's Lily - Just Lily."

Lily automatically corrected, looking back down to avoid him. She found his stupidly crisp shirt to be distracting, especially because he had shed his robes as soon as the school day was over.

"Sorry Just-Lily" James teased again, making Lily look up to see that infuriatingly crooked smile that she definitely **didn't** find adorable.

Putting her quill down and sighing, she played with one of her rings on her fingers, twisting it subconsciously.

"And what do I owe the pleasure of your presence Jimmy?"

"You see Lillian, I'm in desperate need of a favour"

"Aren't we all Jimbo?"

James grinned again, before tugging a hand through his already messed up hair. Lily didn't mind it as much after she discovered that he did it as a sort of nervous tick and not just to make himself look like a ponce.

"You know how you love me? And how I'm like **the** best head boy to ever head boy"

"Well this is news to me" Lily scoffed, pulling her ring off and changing it onto a different finger.

"And since I'm the best head boy in the _world_ , xould you cover my rounds tonight? Please?" He asked, sticking out his lower lip. Lily tried not to look at it, the thought of kissing it away was almost too present in her mind.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because I'm the best?"

"Err no, try again"

"Fine! It's cause I've-got-a-date"

Lily froze, watching his tanned face flush as he once again, tore his fingers through his hair. She tried to remain unphased and casual as she nodded and croaked

"Oh. With who?"

"Mary McDonald."

* * *

"And then he basically **demanded** that I take over his rounds tonight, so he can go whoring off with Mary."

Lily finished off her rant, Remus's nods and assuring noises helping her vent a little bit.

"Like, there's common courtesy! A little warning or something ya know? - Anyways it's not like I care or anything" Lily added but Remus's small smile was all-knowing.

"Don't look at me like that Rem" Lily sighed, stopping in the middle of the corridor to fold her arms.

"Looking at you like what?" He said, acting coy but the smug look on his scarred face exposed his true emotions

"Like- like, Well... I dunno like you're not believing a word I'm saying!"

"Do **_you_** believe a word you're saying?"

Lily scoffed, refusing to even humour the idea. Of course, she was telling the truth but as the two began walking again, Lily silently cursed Remus for knowing her all too well.

"But i'm happy for them, I am! even though Mary could do better."

"So you're _definitely_ not jealous?" Remus added, sounding way too wise for a seventeen-year-old boy.

"What? jealous? why would you think that?"

"Lily, you've been talking about James since the beginning of our rounds - which was-"  
Remus looked down at the small battered watch that he had inherited from his father

"-About two hours ago"

"Pssht that's bullcrap"

"Lily it's the truth!"

Lily stopped in her tracks, letting herself think for a moment.

Potter had really changed this year. He took his role as head boy seriously, he didn't hex first years anymore and all the pranks the marauders pulled weren't harmful in any way. He even left Sev-Snape alone and he had even colour coded the prefect timetable.

He had stopped pestering her and asking her out, he stopped with the embarrassing public compliments and traded them for genuine sentiments, like making her tea (just how she liked it) every morning, in their shared common room.

He had grown up quite a bit, personality-wise and look wise. Quidditch certainly didn't hurt his body and his boyish smile was rather heart-stopping. Hell, she had even grown fond of his stupid shaggy hair and square-framed specs.

Lily gasped aloud as the realisation hit her, a knight-bus like force slamming into her as she grasped it.

She liked James Potter.

She wanted to _snog_ James potter.

She wanted to _shag_ James potter.

"Remus, oh my god" Lily said, looking desperately at her friend, who seemed to be getting exactly what she was thinking.

"Do you see?"

Lily slid down the wall she was leaning on, hugging her knees to her chest.  
"Remus- why- didn't you tell me!"

"You couldn't be told Lils, you know how you are" he joked, sliding down and joining her.

"Rem this is so bad! I can't like James"

"Welcome to my world" Remus sighs, leaning his head back on the wall.

"What? Wait do you like James?" Lily asked, not wanting Remus to share her apparent crush.

Remus laughed aloud at the look on Lily's face  
"Oh Merlin no! That's gross!"

"Hey!"

"Hey yourself woman, your the one who has a crush on Prongs"

"And you can relate because?"

Remus flushed and looked down at his lap, fidgeting with the strap of his watch, it was Lilys turn to smile smugly at the fidgety werewolf.

"It's Sirius isn't it"

"Yeah I'd say you liking James is quite serious" Remus teased.

Lily lightly slapped him  
"You arse"

Remus chuckled and Lily leant back, leaning her head on his shoulder, smiling when he leant his atop of hers, sighing.

"I'm right aren't I?"

"Unfortunately"

She grabbed his hand, stroking her thumb over his rough palm  
"Oh Remmy what fucking idiots we are, falling for two marauders"

"We're a pair of right morons"

* * *

Angry wasn't even the start of what Lily was feeling right now, but it was her first reaction.

After her bone-chilling realisation of her attraction and school-girl crush on James and Remus's confession of his infatuation with a certain black-haired, disowned heir.

Realising it was getting late, the pair had hurried through the rest of their corridors, before retreating to Gryffindor tower, tired and drained from taking on the extra shift.

As they entered the portrait hole, they trudged through the common room, the embers of the fire dying as it was just past midnight. The warm glow comforting Lilys tired eyes.

But what she saw on the sofa next to the fire immediately woke her up.  
James and Mary, snogging each other faces off.

Lily and Remus stopped right in their tracks. Lily's heart dropping to her gut. She felt pure jealously fill her magic as she watched James tenderly run his hands up and down the girls back.

Remus's jaw gaped open as his eyes were immediately on Lily, seeing anger fill her as she clenched her fists tightly, trying to control her accidental magic.

Lily coughed, loudly - startling the couple and immediately drawing their attention to the two prefects standing infront of them.

James reminded Lily of a deer in the headlights. He was frozen as he immediately looked at Lily's simply murderous expression.

"It's past curfew, leave now or 20 points from Gryffindor." Lily spat, unable to stop the pure jealousy from leaving her mouth.

Mary giggled, hopping off of James's lap and pecking his cheek

"Sorry Head girl Evans, I'll be returning to my dorm immediately! no need to threaten our precious house points..." Mary tried to joke, but only resulting in angering Lily further.

she waved goodbye to James, (who was still sitting on the sofa) as she hopped up the stairs, leaving the three in the common room.

James awkwardly stood, feeling Lily's burning stare on him, her eyes sparking as the anger radiated off of her.

James tried desperately to not let it affect him but seeing Lily this angry was definitely a major turn-on and this _wasn't_ the time.

"Ello Evans and Mr Moony," he said, flashing an awkward smile and Remus exchanged him a sympathetic one as he headed towards the boy's dorms.

"night Lils, night Prongs," he said, leaving the two before things got too ugly.

Lily nodded bye, not trusting her words. She turned to see the guilty face of James as he tugged his fingers through his hair once more.

"Sorry, you had to see us like that..." James began, the soft expression filling his face making Lily almost forgive him.  
**_almost_**.

"Oh! this is why I needed to cover for you? so you can shag Mary? James, I'm not gonna take over your work whenever you want to shag someone!" Lily bickered, seeing James flush.

"Lily-"

"I thought you were actually taking this seriously! but here you are again, proving me wrong!"

"Seriously? you don't think I'm taking this _seriously_? all I've been doing this year is take things fucking seriously!" James suddenly snapped back.

"Oh boo hoo, poor Jamesy highlighted a schedule! wow, James you truly deserve an order of merlin, for managing to always just do the bear fucking minimum!" Lily spat back, leaning forward - trying to seem intimidating even though he towered over her.

"Oh _piss_ off Evans," James said, storming off - towards the corridor that led to their head boy/girl dormitory.

Lily, who wasn't letting him have the last word, stormed right after him, following him into their shared common space in the dorm.

"I piss off? you piss off! I'm sick of thinking you've changed and then you pull shit like this!"

"Lily what the fuck are you on about?! all I've done is change! I've done an effing 360! and what suddenly I'm a wank cause I asked you cover ONE round?!"

Lily stopped, realising she was definitely in the wrong. He hadn't done ANYTHING. except for he had done everything.

"well-"

"Lily please enlighten me.. why the fuck are you pissed off? cause earlier you were perfectly fine with it!"

"I'm pissed because-"

Lily paused, letting herself think the truth for a moment.

_"I'm pissed off because you don't like me anymore. You stopped liking me and it's driving me insane. I'm pissed off because you look so good right now. I'm pissed off because it should be ME in your lap and not Mary."_

"Because? please, Lily, tell me I'm simply _dying_ to know"

"It's just-... it's.." Lily stopped, suddenly defeated, realising there was no logical reason why she would be pissed off.

"Lily you've got to be kidding me right now" James groaned, pinching his nose.

"It should be me." Lily said in a ghost of a whisper. she must have looked like a huffy child - her arms crossed as she pouted about sharing something that was never hers.

James paused, registering her words slowly

"What?"

Lily looked up, seeing the puzzled look on his face, the glow of their shared fire making his olive skin look simply divine and combined with his idiotic hair she tried her best not to let it all pour out.

 **"It**. **should**. **be**. _**me**_."  
Lily repeated, creeping closer to the boy, breathing in his stupid smell of parchment and sweat.

She saw it click, and what exactly she was saying and he immediately became angry once again.

"No."

Lily, taken aback, crossed her arms again, raising an eyebrow.

" _No_?"

" **No**!"

James tugged a hand through his hair and began his rant.

"Lily- you don't- you don't _get_ to say things like that to me! not after- just. NO!"

"why not?!" Lily said, hands now on her hips and her eyes boring into his face

"Because- I'm trying to- I'm trying to stop fucking **LOVING** you Lily!" he screamed, pointing at her with his hands.

"I've loved you for **SO** long Lily, so long that it physically hurts! and you've made it **crystal** clear that it will never- and then as soon as I'm trying to get over you, you go and- NO!"

"What are you gonna do if I don't stop? huh? what you gonna do Potter? hex me? Avada me?"

Lily crept closer to the boy, she could now smell his shitty Muggle cologne that he had begged his dad to send him, she could now see the faintest of moles on his face.

"I'll- I'll...." James stammered, the closeness getting to him.

"You'll?" lily got even closer whispering in his ear, letting her lips ghost the lobe

"James...." Lily whispered in his ear, pulling away to not see the sweaty boy she expected but seeing a steely looking James, the lust burning in his eyes.

It was sudden, James grabbed her face, cupping her cheeks and slamming their lips together. She immediately reciprocated, slinging her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him.

" _Fuck,_ Evans"

James breathed against her lips, only encouraging Lily more, she deepened the kiss, letting him win the battle for dominance, as he lowered one hand and let it wrap around her waist.

The two pulled apart, and reality hit Lily, realising what they had just done. She just snogged James.

She had just snogged James Potter.

"Um- goodnight!" she said, springing out of his grasp and practically flying to her room, slamming the door shut and leaving a horny and confused James Potter out in their common area.

She leaned against her door, her pulse racing as she could hear the heartbeat thumping in her ears.

She'd just snogged James Potter  
And she had liked it.  
She had _really_ liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally published | 31st Jan 2021


	2. Spidery tendencies

_Gryffindor my ass_

Lily wasn't feeling particularly brave the next morning. Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling - she was currently trying to convince herself that last night was a dream. No, a _nightmare._ That James Potter didn't snog the life out of her last night.

She sighed, closing her eyes, imagining that those brown eyes weren't staring at her hungrily- and that she couldn't smell the embers of the fire and his cheap, Muggle cologne.

She groaned, she covering her face with a pillow, realising that she was cowering in her own room because of _James Potter_. James _twat-face_ Potter.

Lily tried to remind herself that this was the same James potter that had collected his pubes in a sandwich bag, spending the entire month sprinkling them onto Sirius's food when he wasn't looking.

She rolled her eyes, getting up and sitting on the side of the bed, she could hear James clanking about in their shared kitchenette area, he was never one for being subtle, Lily could swear the boy had hooves instead of feet, he was _that_ loud.

Inhaling a deep breath, she opened the door - ready to be met with a panicky, awkward and flustered James Potter.

She made her way onto their shared sofa, lying with her legs stretched out and grabbing her advanced potions book, looking for a potion that will cure crippling awkwardness.

She didn't even notice James's presence until he was tapping her bare leg.

"Oi gingerbread man, move your legs," James said, patting her legs so he could sit.

"That's gingerbread _girl_ to you toad-face"

she snarked, looking up with relief filling her as he held two mugs. Lily's s _piderman_ muggle mug and James's _harpies_ quidditch mug.

James scoffed as she moved her legs to let him sit and he handed her the s _piderman_ mug.

she smiled in thanks, before making the bold decision to place her legs back in his lap.

To Lily's surprise, James seemingly wasn't fazed as he embraced Lily's legs, putting a comforting hand on her calf.

"I don't get it," James said, making Lily automatically freeze, reacting her fight or flight mode.

"Don't get what?" she said, attempting to maintaining calmness.

"If he's supposed ' _spider-man_ ' why doesn't he have eight limbs?"

"Cause he isn't actually a spider, he just has... spidery tendencies" Lily retorted.

"But it's not biologically accurate!" 

"Just wait until you learn that he can shoot webs out of his fingers" Lily laughs. 

"Wait so he lives in America?"

"He lives in New York."

"Then wheres our _British_ Spiderman? like what if we are under threat?! what about **us** Lily"

"Why don't you give it ago, I'm sure you'd be a great Spiderman"

"You're right, I'd be bloody fantastic, plus the suit would look _spectacular_ on me!"

She rolled her eyes but silently agreed, he would definitely look brilliant in a tight Spiderman suit.

They sat in blissful silence for around ten minutes, with Lily pretending to read her book and James pretending not to stare at her.

Lily looked up, her eyes meeting James's - the lust filled ones now replaced by adorable puppy dog eyes.

"James, I-"

Lily was interrupted by a violent knocking at the door, the voice of Sirius Black filling the room.

"JAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?! PRONGSSSSSSSSSSS JAMESSSSSSS JAMESON JIMMYYYYYYY JIMMMM, JIMBO, JAMAICA, JAMIE, JAM SANDWICH!" 

James opened his mouth to say something but closed it, offering Lily a silent apology as she moved her legs off of his lap so he could answer the door.

"Padfoot this better be fucking brilliant-"

James opened the door and stepped outside, not allowing Sirius to come in. Lily was grateful as she certainly didn't want Sirius to see her just in shorts and a Disney _Bambi_ T-Shirt (a gag gift from Remus after learning Lily's patronus.) and

Lily took the opportunity to shower and she made a vow to speak to James later.

Lily was taken aback by James's reaction. He was so normal. Lily knew she desperately needed to speak to Remus. She was about to burst any minute.

* * *

Apparently, Lily wasn't the only one who wanted to talk that morning, because on her way to breakfast, a long, cardigan covered arm pulled her from the hallway into an abandoned corridor.

"What the fuck?" Lily said furiously before looking up to see the fretful face of Remus Lupin, looking more sickly than normal.

"Remus! why the fuck did you just snatch me like some kidnapper?!" Lily said, looking around the corridor to find that they were alone.

"Shit, sorry I just really need to talk to you." Remus stammered, his hands on her shoulder becoming clammer by the second.

"Well you could, ya know, talk to me at breakfast like a normal pers-"

"I had sex with Sirius"

Lily paused for a second, looking at the worried face of Remus Lupin before letting out a unholy squeal.

"You had sex with Sirius?!"

" _Shush_! Merlin Lily! Do you want the whole wizarding world to find out?"

Lily quickly clasped her hands over her mouth to shut herself up, realising her mistake. She scanned the corridor quickly but shook her head disapprovingly.

"Come on, we're going back to my dorm, this isn't the place."

* * *

"What the _fuck_?" Sirius yelped as James retracted his hand from his face, his cheek stinging from the slap.

"You _git_!" James shouted, raising his hand to deliver another slap to Sirius's face.

"James! stop-" Sirius began, but he was too late as James's hand was flying towards his face. The black heir managed to duck out of his way however, escaping by a hair.

"How could you Sirius? To Moony?!" James screamed, swinging again and again for Sirius, who was ducking and scrambling about the room, eager to escape James's rath.

"How _dare_ you use Remus! Our Moony!" James screamed, making an attempt to grab Sirius's hair.

"Prongs! please I beg! anything but the hair!"   
James seized the opportunity to give Sirius's hair a good tug, making the boy let out a shriek.

"Moony is **not** one of your idiotic one-night stands Black, you don't get to use him like this!" James said, tugging again on Sirius's dark locks.

"James- fuck- ouch! James get off-" Sirius began

"You swore to me you wouldn't use him, you took a Marauders _oathe_ ," James said, yanking again on his hair.

"James- Prongs! let _go_!"

"Not until you promise to stop this, and never do it again!"

"Prongs, I can't promise that-"

_yank_

"Ouch! Prongs I can't promise that because-"

_pull_

"James! stop that! I'm trying to tell you that I **love** him! I'm in love with Moony!"

James squealed, letting go of Sirius, sending him crashing to the floor with a yelp.

"You're in _love_ with him?" James said, resembling Sirius in the excited puppy-like movements.

" _Yes_! now please, get your grubby hooves out of my hair!"

James furrowed his eyebrows, crossing his arms and inspecting the dishevelled heir.

"You're not saying you love him to get out an of a beating are you?"

"Prongs, I smelled him"

"Huh? what like in general or?" James said, raising his eyebrow at his brother.

"No! not in general, you pie! in the Amortentia" Sirius groaned, rubbing his head from where James was yanking on his hair

"Oh! yeah, okay makes sense..."

"Wait Prongs, you never told me who you smelled!"

James smiled, thinking of how the smell of Lily's perfume was mixed in with the smell of the quidditch pitch and the smell of his favourite curry that his mum makes.

"Oh, well I smelled your mum, duh"

* * *

"Okay okay but how was it, the sex?" Lily inquired, taking a sip of her coffee, the familiar spiderman print on the mug reminding her of a certain head boy.

"Well... it was amazing Lil, best sex of my life." Remus confirmed, mimicking Lily and taking a sip out of his mug.

"What happened after? Like did you speak? did you cuddle?" Lily prompted, dying to hear every last detail.

"I mean... yes? and no... he held my hand" Remus confessed with a blush, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"He did _what_?! why would he- what _is_ he? a child crossing the road?!" 

Remus let out a easy laugh, swatting Lily away with a bashful look, making the girl smile brightly at the sight of her happy friend.

"I'm _so_ happy for you Rem" "

I mean, I dunno - it's Sirius I'm not trying to all my eggs in one basket but- I _really_ like him..."

Putting down her mug Lily clapped her hands gleefully, throwing her arms around her best friend supportively.

"Sorry Evans, you can't have me, my heart belongs to another."

"Fourth year me would have been gutted" Lily laughed, remembering her idiotic crush on Remus im fourth year. With her attempts of asking him out to Hogsmeade and giving him a sappy Valentine's Day card.

Out of sheer obliviousness, Remus accepted to go to Hogsmeade to what he thought was just two friends going shopping, but when Lily tried to kiss him, he panicked and blurted out that he was gay, causing Lily to die from embarassment.

"I'm still not over you by the way, I can convert you back to heterosexuality, I'm sure of it!"

"I've got no doubts in you Evans, but the thing is, you'd have to grow a third leg and that could take some time..."

Lily swatted him playfully, but her attention was drawn to the door, where a rather gleeful James Potter was standing.

She watched him cautiously, ready to chuck her idiotic crush out of the window and maul the man if he was anything less than accepting towards the two.

However, all her worries were thrown away when James hurried over to Remus on the sofa, leaping into Remus's lap, smothering him with cheek kisses and hugs affectionately.

"Moony! my beautiful new brother-in-law!" James exclaimed, kissing the tip of Remus's nose, causing Remus to squirm to try and escape.

"Oh Lord" Lily let out, making no attempt to rescue Remus, who was still unsuccessful in his escape attempts.

"Jealous much Evans?" James teased, catching Lily's eyes, his brown ones twinkling with mischief.

"I'm simply dying of jealousy Potter." Lily remarked with a smile on her face.

Catching Lily completely off-guard, James leant forward and kissed the tip of _Lily's_ nose, causing an almost painful blush to colour her face.

Remus watched smugly, observing the interaction before getting up to take their mugs over to the kitchenette. The two locked eyes as Lily blushed, prompting Remus to lean over to whisper in her ear.

"Much to discuss Miss Evans.."

"If you want an appointment Lupin, contact my manager."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates people, updates!!  
> okay but why does Spiderman not have eight limbs?  
> (originally posted 31/01/21)
> 
> lia


	3. He was a Stag and She was a Doe

_In short, Lily was freaking the fuck out._

The rest of the morning and afternoon went smoothly, attending all of her classes and taking every opportunity to tease Remus about his exploits with the infamous Sirius Black.

She hadn't even caught a glimpse of James all day, not even during lunch. She tried to convince herself that she wasn't disappointed, _really_ , she didn't care.

Her downfall came later that evening, when upon inspecting the prefects schedule, (which was still being colour-coded and organised by James himself.) She found that she was paired with James, filling her gut with a similar anxiety, she felt foolish as She had totally forgotten about rounds.

The panic set in and she fled to her bedroom, pacing around feverishly to come up with every excuse under the sun not to go.

" _sorry Lily can't make rounds because a random case of dragon pox has caused her to die, R.I.P she will be missed"_

" _Lily will be unavailable due to her actually **exploding** in potions today - __Slughorn_ _as her witness"_

_"Rounds? oh, lily can't attend, shes pregnant! oh yeah she's the next virgin Mary"_

Lily groaned and flopped on her bed, thinking about how she didn't actually mind spending time with him, and something inside of her was actually _excited_ about seeing him.

She couldn't deny the feelings that would erupt inside of her every time that idiot flashed that infuriatingly charming smile, she had to constantly remind herself that the smile was attached to the knobhead that's James Potter.

She thought about it for a second. He wasn't a _total_ knob anymore, was he? I mean would a total douche still wear snitch patterned pyjama bottoms?

Lily was snapped out of her brooding by two sharp knocks at the door, only irritating her further as she got up to answer the door.

"Remus, I'm in the middle of a extensional crisis, could you reschedule your appointment with my manager?" Lily spouted while opening her door, still half wrapped up in her thoughts.

However, upon opening the door, she noticed the lack of a 6'3 clammy werewolf, instead there was the 6'0 athletic frame of James Potter.

"James! Oh shit, I'm am sorry I thought you were-"

"Your manager?" James quipped, running a hand through his hair, and flashing her that infuriating grin.

"Speaking of, did you speak to her before daring to knock at my door, it's appointments only" Lily grinned, leaning on her door frame.

"Of course! however... Bertha informed me you were a saddo with no appointments, therefore free to patrol the hallowed halls of Hogwarts with a charming lad"

"Ohhhh okay.... so do you know when the charming lad will get here?"

James burst out laughing, tutting and strutting into Lily's room.

"Love what you've done with the place Evans"

"done what? chucked all my dirty laundry about?" James rolled his eyes and flopped down on her bed, almost like he was testing it.

"Up to your standards Mr pureblood Potter?"

"Hmm... could do with a new mattress but overall not shabby!" James laughed, mimicking an absurd over the top version of his accent.

Going against all of her better judgment, Lily laughed along and jumped next to him, lying down and shimming around as if she were testing it.

"In my humble opinion, there might be room for improvement.."

James looked over and grinned unabashedly

"Oh so you sleep in a lot of beds do you Evans?"

"Jealous Potter?"

James leaned slightly forward, his chocolate eyes meeting green, causing Lily's stomach to perform somersaults.

" _Very_ "

He glanced down at her lips, and her mind was racing. She was sure he was gonna kiss her again, did she want him to?

 **Yes**. the answer was yes, but there was that itch in the back of Lily's mind, where she thought of the old James, James that hexed every Slytherin, the James who bullied Snape relentlessly.

He closed his eyes and leaned towards her, where she promptly panicked, clearing her throat loudly.

"Um, we've got rounds!, can't skip em... what an example we'll be showing if the head girl and boy start skivving!"

Lily, who was up and off the bed, was now racing around - putting on her cloak and standing at the door.

"Come on Potter, We don't wanna miss the daily separation of horny students in broom closets!"

"Evans?"

Lily turned around, her heart racing as she was met with James, who was sat up and sporting a smug grin.

"Potter?"

"Are you planning on doing patrols with just your socks on?"

Lily blushed and ran over to grab her shoes, slipping them on awkwardly as James threw her a shit-eating grin.

* * *

The first twenty minutes that ensued were as predicted, incredibly and unbearably awkward.

The pair were more or less silent, with the only noise being the squeaking of James's shoes and Lily clearing her throat every few minutes.

The patrol was proving to be extremely uneventful, with Lily even deliberately checking some nooks and crannies that were infamous for having people shagging in them - just for some form of entertainment.

The two made their way up to the astronomy tower, again, finding a barren wasteland with not even a single couple attempting to fondle each other underneath the moonlight.

Lily sighed, sitting down on the ledge and bringing her knees up to her chest. James was quick to join her. Sitting across from her, cross-legged and eyes wide as he tried to make any form of eye contact with the girl.

Lily felt his stare but remained coy about it. Instead, choosing to focus her gaze on the moon, it thankfully not close to being full.

"If I could, I would punch that motherfucker" Lily said, her gaze fixated on the slither of the moon that was staring back at her.

"She doesn't mean any harm, its not her fault she hurts Remus." James tore his eyes to admire the moon.

Lily failed to contain the soft smile that burst onto her face, she looked at the boy across from her. The tenderness of his voice not being something she was used to.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" she said, staring at the boys face, waiting for a reaction.

James met her stare and he looked almost desperate as he calculated the words he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry I kissed you" He blurted out, making her chest instantly become lighter. There it was. The big fat elephant in the room - out of its cage. 

But he was _sorry_? he was _sorry_ for kissing her? did he regret it? Did he not want to do it? What if he never wanted to do it again?

"Sorry?" Lily said, furrowing her brows. "you're _sorry_?"

James blinked and ran his fingers through his hair, scratching his neck before looking back up.

"I- I mean I'm certainly not _sorry_ that it happened but I don't know, but you just... ran away?" He laughed, and Lily swore she could hear his racing heart.

Lily outwardly cringed, burying her head in her knees as she groaned.

"I did, didn't I" 

James awkwardly chuckled, he was fidgeting with his robes and shifting. He reminded Lily of an hyperactive kid, his eager to please radiating off of him.

"Well if you wanna just forget about it... that's fine with me" 

Lily stared at him, he wanted to _forget_? Lily felt like a fool. Of course, he did, maybe he really likes Mary after all.

"If that's what you want..." Lily shrugged, trying to act as if he wasn't stomping all over her heart.

James made a non-committal noise, only confusing Lily further. She felt the familiar anger bubble inside of her and she stood up, startling the boy slightly.

"What do you want James? because the last time I checked I'm not a fucking legilimens!" She snapped, living up to her red hair.

James didn't move, he just stared up at her. Frozen. Like a deer in the headlights.

Lily also froze, looking down at him, telling him, no begging him, with her eyes. So he could say anything. anything.

"Potter?" 

James visibly gulped, standing up to face her, towering over her small 5"3 frames.

"Evans, all I've ever wanted to do was kiss you" 

The softness and sincerity in his eyes almost made Lily melt, She finally realised that it just felt so right with James. He just made sense. _they_ just made sense.

He was a stag and she was a doe.

"But if you wanna forget that it happened, then it's done - my lips are sealed. But I cannot promise that my love for you will be gone." 

_love_?

_Did he love her?_

"Love?" Lily choked out, feeling his rough palm caress her cheek, cupping it gently as that familiar James potter smile flashed back at her.

"Yes, love. I've always loved you" 

"Even when I had braces?" Lily laughed, leaning into his touch.

James chuckled and nodding, remembering when she came back for their second year, wearing Muggle braces with her parents insisting that she straighten her teeth the "natural way" 

" _Especially_ when you had braces" 

Lily teared up, laughing slightly

"Weirdo, do you have a braces fetish or something?"

James rolled his eyes, still holding her face gently "What? and you don't?" 

He raised a quizzical brow at the girl, and she laughed again, Of course the two of them still found a way of being utterly ridiculous when confessing their love for one another.

"Well your in luck Potter, cause I love you right back" 

James burst out into a grin, practically steaming from the ears.

"That's convenient isn't it?" 

Rolling her eyes, Lily wrapped her arms against his neck and brought their lips together, kissing him sweetly.

It was nothing like the fiery mess that was their first kiss, this time it was slow and steady, with James holding her face and showing her just how much he loved her.

And she loved him right back, from the tip of his messy hair to the bottom of the idiotic trainers he wore for quidditch.

She loved James Potter, and he loved her right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's the end folks! don't hold your applause!  
> this really could of/should of been a oneshot but hey! I'm a dick like that!  
> (originally posted 2/02/21)
> 
> this was short but hopefully sweet.
> 
> Lia.


End file.
